Miscellaneous Verses

On Free Will and Determinism

        Suppose (the chance is there) that you were born
        With the recessive gene of pure freedom:
        Your toe-bones point to where you want to go;
        Your spine doesn't slouch, your eyes don't focus
        Beyond whatever it is you want to see.
        You feel no nausea at the crazy surface
        Of the snow, nor does the moon's trajectory
        Remind you of your imminent demise.
        
        Does the snow reflect the moon, or does the moon
        Reflect the snow?  Your teeth are chattering,
        Your fingers numb.  The doctor puts the snow
        Back in its box, the moon in its album cover.
        "I'm sorry to tell you, you were never free.
        Please pay the nurse, your mother, as you leave."

Bulletin

        It has come to our attention
        That green was inadvertently specified
          In a key paragraph
          Of a previous bulletin
          Of this department.

        The correct specification is yellow.
        Moreover, brown was inadvertently omitted
          From the specifications list
          Along with some low-priority items,
          E.g., red and orange.

        The flowers were a decision-level error.
        Major cutbacks will now be necessary
          At virtually all levels.
          We apologize in advance
          For any inconvenience.

        Needless to say, the director is furious.
        He only wants to hide the situation
          And keep it hidden.
          We have fifty billion tons of
          Snow on order.

The Adventure

	She was just out the door
	When it started to rain
	  Pumpkins,
	Smashing and splattering the drive.
	  (There's always something
	About to arrive
	That doesn't want you alive.)

	The highway was slick
	With the squashed hulls of
	  Mice,
	Bloody and making her sick.
	  (The radio's advice:
	Drive like hell,
	Ignoring the smell.)

	When she gets to her desk
	They're hurling volleys of
	  Slippers,
	Pelting her face and head.
	  ("Stop it," she whispers,
	"I feel like an ant."
	They answer: "We can't.")

Limerick

        There was an old clerk of Columbus
        Who wearied of totalling numbus,
          So he moved to East Lansing
          And spent his time dancing
        Maxixes, merengues, and rhumbus.

Netnews Haiku

        Watching the busy
        Fireflies blink at each other . . .
        I am busy too!

Spanish Ode (Computer-Generated)

        The rolling plains oscillate,
        From the green contour rises
        The noble form of the Eiffel Tower.
        Spain, lovely Spain!
        
        The hidalgo sits polishing
        His finely machined boots
        With a garbage collector.
        He hears lions roar in the distance.
        
        At four o'clock in the afternoon
        The sunlit river underflows
        The arches of Westminster Bridge.
        Bong! bong! bong!
        
        The goose girl channels her way
        Through the quacking crowd,
        Scattering line feeds.
        She hears tigers snarl in the distance.
        
        Something needs to be replaced,
        Either Spain, or my A.L.U.
        Farewell, farewell, my little Spanish ode!
        Tomorrow I shall write a Mexican sundae.

Table For One

        Een bladje sla,
        Een loempia,
        Een flesje Spa,
        Een hompje vla,
	  Ik denk dat ik maar vroeg naar bed ga.

On a Froglet

        A froglet by a pond on Rhodes
        Aspired to sing computer codes.
        He sought a group of bigger frogs,
        Who mocked him from their hollow logs.
        "We bullfrogs sing in C++;
        You're just a Fortranunculus."